This is the FIRST time in my 43 years of life that I've really, really questioned anything church related. I know the Gospel is true. Period. BUT...I'm not sure how I feel about the human beings governing our church. Having a very hard time with our Bishop. My husband and I have known him for 20 years, most of those years in a non-religious setting. I know too much about him personally to really feel comfortable with him in the role of Bishop. I know deep in my heart it's wrong for me to judge him, and it's probably wrong for me to even question WHY he is the Bishop. But I am questioning it. Our son turned 8 in June. We had an extra busy summer and decided to wait until fall to baptize him when more of our family could be here with us. With the previous baptisms in our family, I called the Primary President to arrange the baptism and made an appointment with the Bishop for the child to be interviewed. Not so with child #5! The Bishop called my husband in for an interview. I can understand this I guess. We haven't been attending church regularly. I have worked a lot of Sundays this summer, and when I'm not here nobody goes to church. I'll say it....our family is inactive. (ouch!) First of all, the Bishop seemed surprised that my husband still wears his garments. I think he believes inactivity=sin. Anyway, he proceeded to conduct a temple interview to determine whether or not my husband is worthy to baptize our son. Needless to say, he did not "pass" the interview, and according to our Bishop, he is apparently NOT WORTHY. His sins are his inactivity in the church and our lack of tithing payments. I get the church attendance. I don't get the tithing part of it. What would have happened if my husband would have admitted that he is gay? Wow. He may have been excommunicated on the spot! I am half tempted to gather some priesthood holders together and go baptize our son in the river. Is that even "legal"? Anyway, for the time being our son will go unbaptized until we can muster up enough faith to be full tithe payers.
The previous experience is not the only reason I have a hard time with our Bishop. I'm really not looking for a reason to be inactive. I feel bad for my husband who struggles with the church anway because of his homosexuality. He never really feels accepted and comfortable there like I do. I'm sure many of you can totally relate to this. Being a Mormon is challenging when everything is "normal". Being a Mormon is EXTRA challenging when things aren't the "norm". Can I just schedule a meeting with Jesus Christ??? I have a few things I want to ask Him.
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5 comments:
So sorry--understand completely your frustration. What are we all going to do?
I don't know if it would get you anywhere, but you could consider talking to your stake president.
The only guidance that the Handbook of Instructions give bishops concerning the person performing a baptism is that he must be "a worthy priest or Melchizidek Priesthood holder".
Elsewhere, the Handbook indicates that a person performing an ordinance (any ordinance) in a ward other than his own must present to that ward's bishop either a current temple recommend or a "Recommend to Perform an Ordinance form" (which he can obtain from his own bishop). To me, this implies that a temple recommend (i.e. temple worthiness) is not required in order to perform priesthood ordinances--if it was, there would be no reason for the second form, as any qualified/worthy priesthood holder could obtain a temple recommend as easily as he could get the ordinance recommend.
When we met with our stake president regarding our temple recommends (and were denied them) we specifically asked him about the upcoming ordination of our 12-year-old, and he told us that temple worthiness was not a requirement for participation in that ordinance. He spoke with our bishop to make sure that he understood that, and I was able to confer the Aaronic Priesthood on our son and ordain him to the office of Deacon.
I'm not entirely certain that non-payment of tithing wouldn't have been an issue with our stake president. My own personal opinion is that it shouldn't be. If you believe your stake president would be sympathetic, it might be worth taking the issue to him.
Ultimately, your bishop holds the keys and can authorize a baptism within his ward (or not). The "rogue" baptism that you suggest (tongue-in-cheek, I assume) would not be considered valid.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. I understand. It would certainly be nice if members of the church (and especially our leaders) were better at looking "the heart" rather than "the outward appearance", wouldn't it?
Since they can't, I just do my best and trust that eventually God will make everything right.
[[HUG]]
Sarah and Scott...Thank you both for your comments. I have been asking different church members about our situation (including my Dad who has been a Bishop twice) and all of them are looking into it for me. If the majority feel as I do, that tithing shouldn't be an issue, then I will go talk to the Bishop. My husband doesn't want me to, but I think I will anyway. I wish you all knew this man as we do just so you could really get a feel for what we are going through. I'm sure things will work out, but right now I just feel angry. The problem with this anger is that the person it's directed at doesn't even know I'm mad! It's making me feel bitter and isolated. Not a good feeling.
Can I schedule the time slot after you? Better yet i'll bet some of our questions are the same, perhaps a two for one deal would be good?
I completely understand....and I wish I did not.
I see this is an older post, but felt like commenting. How did this all turn out? We are having a similar situation, questioning a lot of things. Our Bishop is a nice man with his heart in the right place, but there are a lot of reasons we will not discuss our "situation" with him. It's unfortunate. I'm beginning to see the church in a whole new light and wonder if I should have been asking these questions all along and wondering why I've been coasting along all these years. I hope everything worked out in your favor :)
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