I'm in my 40's....is this normal???

Yep...I'm feeling complete and total sexual frustration. It's all I can think about. I feel like a teenage boy does (I guess--haha!). What to do? I keep threatening my husband with "I am thinking about getting a boyfriend just to satisfy my physical needs." He always tells me, "Go ahead as long as he is cute." Well, I honestly would NEVER be so shallow. For one thing, nothing is more horrifying to me than taking off my clothes in front of someone besides my husband. Yikes! Another great reason is, I'm pretty sure that path would destroy my marriage, and I'm not willing to do that. Plus there's the fact that I would be committing adultery. I guess I won't really get a boyfriend. I do think about it sometimes though!

PS...I know ALL of you can relate to this post! Haha!

Bishop Blues

This is the FIRST time in my 43 years of life that I've really, really questioned anything church related. I know the Gospel is true. Period. BUT...I'm not sure how I feel about the human beings governing our church. Having a very hard time with our Bishop. My husband and I have known him for 20 years, most of those years in a non-religious setting. I know too much about him personally to really feel comfortable with him in the role of Bishop. I know deep in my heart it's wrong for me to judge him, and it's probably wrong for me to even question WHY he is the Bishop. But I am questioning it. Our son turned 8 in June. We had an extra busy summer and decided to wait until fall to baptize him when more of our family could be here with us. With the previous baptisms in our family, I called the Primary President to arrange the baptism and made an appointment with the Bishop for the child to be interviewed. Not so with child #5! The Bishop called my husband in for an interview. I can understand this I guess. We haven't been attending church regularly. I have worked a lot of Sundays this summer, and when I'm not here nobody goes to church. I'll say it....our family is inactive. (ouch!) First of all, the Bishop seemed surprised that my husband still wears his garments. I think he believes inactivity=sin. Anyway, he proceeded to conduct a temple interview to determine whether or not my husband is worthy to baptize our son. Needless to say, he did not "pass" the interview, and according to our Bishop, he is apparently NOT WORTHY. His sins are his inactivity in the church and our lack of tithing payments. I get the church attendance. I don't get the tithing part of it. What would have happened if my husband would have admitted that he is gay? Wow. He may have been excommunicated on the spot! I am half tempted to gather some priesthood holders together and go baptize our son in the river. Is that even "legal"? Anyway, for the time being our son will go unbaptized until we can muster up enough faith to be full tithe payers.

The previous experience is not the only reason I have a hard time with our Bishop. I'm really not looking for a reason to be inactive. I feel bad for my husband who struggles with the church anway because of his homosexuality. He never really feels accepted and comfortable there like I do. I'm sure many of you can totally relate to this. Being a Mormon is challenging when everything is "normal". Being a Mormon is EXTRA challenging when things aren't the "norm". Can I just schedule a meeting with Jesus Christ??? I have a few things I want to ask Him.